Saturday, 28 December 2019

Day 6

I do missed talking to you.
You were totally my comfort zone.
But I know, if I look back to that zone, that's equal to hurting myself one more time. I can't afford that.
And I don't think you put enough effort to get me back.
Again, I hope you're happy.

Monday, 23 December 2019

Day 1

Masih terasa sakit di dada.
Puluhan kupu-kupu berterbangan di dalam perut memberikan efek tidak nyaman.
Tak ingin ku mengingatnya, tapi setiap huruf yang merangkai kata dan meluncur keluar dari bibirmu itu lebih dari keterlaluan.
Terima kasih telah menyadarkan bahwa diriku terlalu naif dan bebal.

Monday, 28 January 2019

The Morning that Wakes You Up

I try to divide my concentration between driving and texting. It's impossible, obviously. I throw my phone to passenger seat and try to put my concentration on my wheel. Few moments later, I can't hold myself not to text my friend. I opted voice call to make it easier. Still not easy, yet I succeeded to send several messages to him.
I then try to concentrate once more.
*ding* my phone vibrates. I rushed to check the message.

"It's not worth it. If I were you I would totally chase another chance. I believe you're worth more than this"

I smiled. Not because I hear what I want to hear, but he gave me enlightenment on how I'm worthy more than I know. I shrugged. I know I'm wrong, but why do I keep on going?

I put my phone back. Drive straight to the office. Walk to my desk and sit. I gaze to nothing. I start to feel empty and embarrassed how this blinds me. How come I pretend this too will change and how I still have chance.

I stare at my phone. I frown and said to myself; I too have to change.

Friday, 25 January 2019

Turn point

I'm waiting for my turning point where I can finally look straight to the front and not looking back.
Let's keep what we had as a precious memory, to be remembered and rejoiced.
It was perfect. We were perfect. Only we aren't meant to be. Or so we thought.
And I hope I'm right.